Wednesday, March 05, 2008

More nominees for "Mother of the Year"


Last Thursday, 25-year-old Sheila Brooks of Indianapolis, Indiana, was giving her daughters . . . three-year-old Sirius and one-year-old Sereena . . . a bath. They were just about finished when Sheila went to get the girls some clothes. But on her way back to the bathroom, Sheila got preoccupied. See, "American Idol" was on TV. Sheila stopped to watch . . . you know, just for a minute. Of course, Sheila got so wrapped up in the show she COMPLETELY FORGOT about her two young daughters in the bathtub. And by the time she finally remembered, Sirius had slipped underwater . . . and had started to drown. Sheila freaked. She pulled Sirius from the tub and began CPR while her brother . . . 38-year-old Darnell Wilson . . . called 911. An ambulance arrived and they rushed the girl to the hospital where she was revived. And while doctors think Sirius is going to be OK, Sheila still has some explaining to do. Apparently, the police who responded to the 911 call found Sheila's secret stash . . . which included more than an ounce of marijuana and a scale. Sheila hasn't been charged yet in the near drowning . . . but her five daughters have been taken from her and placed in protective custody. (Indianapolis Star)


Don't you just love it when you see parents setting a good, solid example for their kids? Like these two ladies . . .

Last Saturday, 38-year-old Catherine Aliaga of West Roxbury, Massachusetts, threw a birthday party for her nine-year old son at Chuck E. Cheese. While there, Catherine's son got into an argument with a 13-year-old boy. It seems the older boy was "hogging" a basketball arcade game and wouldn't let Catherine's son take a turn. Catherine told her son to wait patiently . . . but after the older boy shoved her son, Catherine intervened and told the older kid to get lost so her son could play the game. That didn't sit well with 33-year-old Tarsha Williams of Dorchester, Massachusetts . . . who is the older boy's mother . . . and she got up in Catherine's face. The ladies exchanged words . . . and the situation quickly escalated into an all-out fist fight . . . in front of all the kids . . . at Chuck E. Cheese. The cops showed up and arrested both ladies. They're now both waiting for their court dates. (MetroWest Daily News)

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Just had to share....

Maybe the Candidates for "Mom of the Year" should check out these parenting tips!

Just a Funny

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

4. Rottweiler: Make me.

5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation

8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. (This used to be so true at my house)

11. Chihuahua : No quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."

12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

13. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?

Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:
"How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"


Mother of the Year Awards...

We get all kinds of women who shop at "Chunky's"..... but here are 2 who should be up for "Mother of the Year"

Candidate #1

One busy Sat. a mom comes in w/ 3 children (ages roughly 10, 4, and 2). She looks around and ignores all the children while the oldest of the 3 tries to babysit the other 2. She (oldest) runs after the other 2 all over the store, trying to keep them from playing in the racks and basically destroying the store. She comes to me and asks to use our restroom, we are only allowed to let one person in at a time and since we already have someone in there I tell her she will have to wait a few minutes, she says OK and walks away. A minute later, my manager calls me to the front to let me know the 2yr. old has peed all over the floor. It looked like she had walked in a circle while letting it all out shall we say. Oldest child is really embarrassed and asks for a mop so she can clean it up. I get the mop, clean it up and set out the "Wet Floor" signs. "MOM" has yet to acknowledge the situation as she is too busy talking on the phone to realize what is going one w/ her own children. When she does figure out what is going on, instead of being embarrassed, or even apologizing, she yells at oldest and youngest for making the mess. I was dumbfounded! I would have been mortified first of all, and I would have volunteered to clean the mess and immediately left the store to change my poor child. Not this mom...there was shopping to be done...she stayed almost another hour in the store with the poor wet child crying the whole time that she wanted to changed clothes. We found out after she did leave that she had stolen a complete outfit....we found empty hangers where she had been standing in the corner that were not there before she came in. Class act!

Candidate #2

Mom comes in w/ small boy (probably 2 or 3 yrs old) She asks if he can use the restroom because he is learning to "potty" and she doesn't want an accident while she shops. GREAT! Sounds like she is on top of things. They go to the restroom and then begin shopping. They are in the store a good hour just roaming around. The little boy starts saying he needs to go potty.....she tells him to wait....he says again he really needs to go potty....she gets angry and yells at him to wait...this goes on for about 20 mins. I explain to her that I would be glad to let them in the restroom again if she needed. "No, he'll be fine...he just went" Now, before I explain what happened next...although I bet you can guess....let me just ask you, if he were potty training and was asking to go, shouldn't you take him every time he asked? Anyway, as I am sure you can guess the poor little guy had an accident. Mom laid into him like you wouldn't believe! Yelling at him that he should have waited and if he couldn't wait he should have told her! Poor kid HAD been telling her for almost 30 mins!

These are just two of the candidates so far this year and it's just Feb.!

Have you got a candidate for "Mom of the year"? Just let me know...

Get ready.....

I'm going to be cleaning out my "DRAFT" folder, so there will be several posts in the next few days.......

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Catch-Up Time

Let's's been a crazy busy month so far...what else is new right?

We had a little scare w/ stepmonster last night, she went to the ER with "bleeding and real bad cramps" or so that is what I was told at 2:30 this morning. That turned out to be a little exaggeration (I am not sure on whose part) Thankfully she is OK and so is the baby. She actually had a gall bladder attack as best the Dr. could tell. Evidently a box of Dominos' Hot wings wasn't the smartest idea for supper. She is to follow up with her Dr. and lay off the fried, greasy foods.

In other stepmonster news, they (she and baby daddy) finally got an apt. of their own. We helped them move last weekend.

Speaking of last weekend I hosted a "Things We Do For Love Night" at our church and we had the best turn out ever! We had 16 couples who enjoyed a great meal and then we played the "Not Really NewlyWed Game" Some of the questions were really hard but I think everyone had a great time. Sugarbritches and I had fun even though hosting kind of takes time away from him. Maybe some day someone else will host and I can just enjoy the night too. Don't get me wrong I love doing these kinds of things but I just realized recently how much SB just sort of has to go along for the ride and wait by the sidelines to spend any time with me.


Valentine's Day was a quite but nice day. We went to dinner and while we were there SB gave me my present. I had asked him to get 2 of my necklaces repaired so I could wear them again, I guess he thought that wasn't enough because when I opened the jewelry box I found a beautiful heart shaped necklace w/ matching earrings. I have worn them everyday since! *G* I got him what he said he wanted.....his motorcycle serviced for Spring. How romantic! *LOL* Oh and to prove just how old we've gotten, after dinner we went to LOWE'S! He and I used to laugh at older couples who would walk around Lowe's on a Friday and Saturday night. Now we're that couple! *L* We picked out some new carpet that we want to save for and I think we decided on the vanity and sink for the bathroom so as soon as he can, SB will be starting to tear out the tile and, take the popcorn stuff off the ceiling (I can't wait for that to happen all through the house!)

Well, if you aren't tired of my boring life yet, your life must be more even more boring! *L* Just kidding!!!

Have a great day and give your sweetheart a kiss for me!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Something else that made me laugh today...

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company; Proctor and Gamble, regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph...

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.

But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.' Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?

FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull sh*t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best, Wendi Aarons Austin , TX

PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

This is too funny!

If you've seen the nutty Tom Cruise interview then you'll LOVE this!"

Monday, January 07, 2008

She's in serious need of an Intervention!

Have you seen the craziness that is Britney Spears life ya'll? Coming from a small southern town all I can do is shake my head and say "Bless her heart!" How can it be that no one in her inner circle has been able to talk her off the ledge she's been teetering on for so long? How has Kevin come out of that relationship looking like the good parent? (Although I must say I've yet to hear him say a bad thing about her) I can't say that I think he's any kind of saint but WOW at least he seems to have the children's best interest in mind. I'm no Dr. Phil but I would venture a guess that she is manic depressive. I just hope that she can get the help she needs and that she doesn't turn out like Anna Nicole.

What do you think? Can she still be saved?

Friday, January 04, 2008

"Leavin' on a Jet Plane"

I am so proud of my brother.

He is going on a Mission trip to Haiti next week! It's sort of a last minute thing, he found out about the trip in Oct. and rushed to get all his paperwork in order so he could go. They will be gone for 6 days. I know very little about Haiti except that they don't seem to like Americans. What makes me so proud of Big Dog (what I'll call him here) is not only is he doing this because he feels it's what God would have him do; but, it is sooooo far out of his comfort zone. #1 he is flying for the first time, something he has been afraid to do until now. #2 he will be teaching 70 local pastors 2 lessons next week. I can remember how much he struggled in school (so much so he never graduated H.S.) and to think that he will be teaching in front of so many just blows my mind.

I went today to pick up a few cards for each of the guys going on the trip. I have told my brother I want him to give them out to the guys sometime while they are gone. I have been trying to think of what I want to write in his card but "I'm proud of you" just doesn't seem to be enough. I only have a few more days to figure it out though so I better get on it!

If you are the praying type please say a little prayer for safety, wisdom and strength for this group as they leave on the 9th!


Wednesday, January 02, 2008

HAPPY 2008 YA'LL!!!

WOW can you believe it's 2008 already? Where did the year go? There has been so much going on that I will try to do a brief catch up now and may expand on some things in the coming days.

I guess there are 2 major things going on right now. 1. I can talk about and 1. I need to hold off on for a few more weeks.

#1. And most shocking (well maybe not shocking) I am going to be a "GG" Stepmonster is pregnant! She is due in May and we just found out that she will be having a precious little girl! I am not thrilled w/ the pregnancy or with the "Baby Daddy" (ex-neighbor) but I can't hold the baby at fault for her parents stupidity. I have decided that the kid will call me "GG" because I am just too young to be a "grandma, memaw, mawmaw, or meme"


My jobs are still going well, I just wish I was better at time management so I could get everything accomplished I want/need to.

I took my first trip to DisneyWorld in Oct. It was a true blast and I can't wait to go back. I walked around all week saying Hi. My name is _____ and I am 4 yrs old! I felt like such a kid getting excited over seeing Pooh, Eeyore and the rest of the gang, as well as all the other fairy princesses. *LOL* Poor Sugarbritches just smiled and hid his face if I got too embarassing.

I am hoping to get back to posting a few times a week now that things have settled down from the holidays. I miss coming here to tell all 2 of you how things are going w/ my life.

Hope all/both of you had a great Christmas and will have a Joy filled New Year!